Read the transcript of Jo Tantum Q&A session with our viewers
Jo Tantum: Hello everybody!
Helen: My daughter is 11 months old and I've made the huge mistake of letting her always fall asleep in my arms. Is it too late to try anything? - I don't like the idea of controlled crying.
Jo Tantum: Spaced soothing. Instead of doing controlled crying. You go in, stroke the baby's nose, and put your hand on his chest, shush. Do this for max 1 minute and then walk out. This may take up to 7 days to work. But persevere - it does work, promise!
Vicki: Please could you explain the spaced crying technique you mentioned this morning. My 6 week old girl will not fall asleep by herself in her Moses basket!
Jo Tantum: She'll need to go into a cot in the next few weeks. She needs to be swaddled. Spaced Soothing is where you go in every minute for 5 minutes. You soothe your baby, so you shush, stroke the nose for a maximum of 1 minute. Then you leave the room and wait for 1 minute.
Natalie: I have a 10-month-old son who bangs his head very hard if he doesn't get his way. I've tried everything, but I'm so scared he will do himself some damage.
Jo Tantum: Make sure he's safe. He won't hurt himself if he's banging his head on the carpet. Sit next to him, but turn your back on him and do something else. After a minute turn round and say to him "Have you finished?" Then say "Would you like to come and help Mummy do something?" If he carries on do exactly the same thing - turn your back for a minute.
Susan: I have three children, 12-year-old, 3-year-old and 16-months. My 16-month-old still breastfeeds to go to sleep and wakes in the night for the breast too. I know this is a habit and she doesn't need a feed, but we live in a two-bed flat, she sleeps with me and I don't want to wake up everyone.
Jo Tantum: He's basically using the breast feeding as a prop to go back to sleep. So you just need to use the spaced soothing again, so he will only cry for a maximum of 5 minutes before you soothe him. Is there any way you can have a travel cot next to your bed so you don't have to go into the children's bedroom?
Teresa: I have five children 7-year-old, 5-year-old and 4-year-old and twins who are 8-months-old - How do I let my twins cry to sleep as they Will disturb the other children?
Jo Tantum: It's going to take 7-10 days to get them to sleep through the night, and it's the Spaced Soothing technique you need to use again. You're just going to have to tell the other children that there might be a bit of crying but it won't last forever. It might even take less than a week, depending on the baby. The biggest gift you can give a baby is to let them fall asleep on their own. If they wake up and someone sticks a bottle in their mouth, they think that's what they need to fall asleep. Spaced Soothing takes this problem away.
Helen: Is it OK to put a newborn baby in their own room from day one?
Jo Tantum: If the parents are happy to do that, then it's fine. It's obviously easier if the baby's next to you when it's feeding a lot in the first few weeks. Remember the guidelines of the first six months - this is because of the danger of cot death. However most parents put their babies in a room by themselves from the age of three months. As long as you've got a really good monitor and the baby's swaddled and positioned in the cot with its feet at the bottom, it's completely your choice.
Debbie Murray: Jo, I have 2 sets of twins - 1 set being 2.5-year-old boys and the other 12-week old girls. Please could you give me some advice regarding bedtime routines as it is almost impossible to get both sets to bed early?
Jo Tantum: The 12 week old girls: bedtime routine can start around 6.30pm with bath time and feed in nursery. The boys can be watching a video or quietly reading stories just outside the nursery door, so you can keep an eye on them. The girls should then be in bed by 7-7.15pm, then you can bath the boys and they can have a story in their bedroom, so all should be quiet by 7.45pm.
Annie: Are you a mother yourself, Jo? If not, do you think you would be as hard as you seem when it's your turn?!
Jo Tantum: No I'm not a mother - I've been looking after everyone else's babies! I would definitely stick to a routine and use all my other techniques because I completely believe that they work 100%. I've seen what can happen when people make it up as they go along.
Muna: Hi Jo, I have an 8 week old son who cannot go to sleep without the aid of a walk in his pram or a car ride, he is tired all the time and as a consequence is very grouchy and cries too. I know that we've set things up wrongly in the first place; I would welcome any advice that you have to give
Jo Tantum: The first thing they need to do is to get into a daily routine. This could be feeding every three hours, having playtime then a nap. If you put him in his pram in the day you can rock him to the point to where he's on the brink of sleep, and then stop. This way you give him the opportunity to fall asleep on his own. Gradually withdraw the rocking each day until you just have to place him in his pram, and he'll fall asleep. I wouldn't recommend using the car as a method for getting him to sleep.
Vicki: What happens after the 5 minutes is up with spaced soothing - do you repeat it?
Jo Tantum: Ok, I'll just go through Spaced Soothing again to get it spot on for you. When baby first cries you go in and soothe with stroking nose and shushing for max 1 minute. Next time baby cries increase the time you wait until you next go in by 1 minute - so in this case you wait 2 minutes, next time 3 minutes, then 4 minutes and finally wait for periods of 5 minutes maximum. If baby is getting upset at any time during the long 5 minute interval, you can always decrease it to 3 minutes, for example. Just listen to your baby's cries. The number of times you have to go in will decrease every night. The first night may be 15 times, but then the next 10, and so on until after 7 days the baby should cry out by herself.
Vikki: My baby daughter is 10 months. I have a routine - after tea she has a bath, play, then supper between 8-9pm, then goes to bed. She's OK till around midnight then will not go back off. I'm a single mum and I get really tired at work the next day.
Jo Tantum: She's overtired. She needs to be in bed no later than 8pm, 7pm would be better. She needs to have a tea, bath time and bottle in the nursery with lights low. After the bath time she should go straight into the nursery, where you can read her a few stories. When she wakes at midnight do Spaced Soothing. This may take up to a week, and you'll be tired for a week, but then she'll be sleeping through. Put aside one week where you know you'll be v tired, but be strong and stick to it - days 3 and 4 will be the most difficult.
Despseekingsleep: My 16 week old son was laid down awake from birth until colic upset all our plans. His inability to stay asleep is getting worse. My husband "helped" by introducing a dummy. Now he wakes for it all the time. Do you have any suggestions?
Jo Tantum: Stop the dummy in the daytime immediately and use Spaced Soothing instead. If you want to you can throw the dummy away for the night time as well. Your baby's using the baby as a sleep prop, so you need to encourage him and give him the confidence to fall asleep without it. Up to 16 weeks if you throw the dummy away your baby will not have formed a habit as his natural sucking reflex will diminish. It's only after this time that it can form a habit.
Maria: do you have a website or book?
Jo Tantum: The book is called Baby Secrets which you can buy from the GMTV website, as well as all bookshops. My website is for help and advice and is www.baby-secrets.info
Jo Tantum: Thanks for all your questions today, hope the advice has helped and stick to my methods and you'll all be getting 12 hours sleep a night before long.

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